I’m not a very serious person. I try to have fun as much as a can and take life as it comes. This very reason is why I chose to do a serious self portrait. To those who don’t know me I am a very loud, strange and weird individual that can often lack class or at least no seem very lady-like. This assumption isnt too far off, however it isn’t the entire picture. Like every other human on this planet, there are many different sides of me. Each of these images is meant to depict that.

   My first image is a before an after. The way I look in the morning, and the way I like to present myself to the world. The first half is simply me. Without the make-up, without the jewelry , just me. A creative person, with insane thoughts, child-like, and a head in the clouds. The second half is an adult with an idea of what I am doing and where I am going in life. When I present this side of myself I feel like I have it together. I wanted the image straight on because that way what you see if exactly what you get, no fancy lighting, no interesting angles. I shot all of my images using an 85mm prime lens and a 24-70mm zoom lense.  The reason being I quite like those two lenses, and since this is a self portrait I figure I should use something I like and am comfortable with. Aside from the obvious physical difference of me with or without makeup, I have been discovering lately the mental component. When I don’t put effort in myself, the somewhat lost child-like side takes control. When I wake up and put some effort into my appearence I suddenly feel like I am in control of my life.

   The second images were meant to focus on what I concider to be one of my biggest flaws and one of my biggest challenges. The image on the left is a symbol of my habbit of word vomiting. When I am nervous or excited, or just in general I word vomit. I can’t stop talking, even when I know I should. This is alright on occasion, most of the time though It isn’t. I often confuse people, and push them away due to my lack of knowing when to shut up. The image on the right is about a physical problem I have. There are some slight difformities in my knees which on occasion make it difficult for me to walk. This issue has prevented me from dancing (like I used to), and has made it difficult for me to keep a job. Surprisingly the pain isn’t the problem. A lot of people view me as fragile and become over cautious with me, to me this is the real issue. Too many times I’ve heard “maybe you should stay home and not put stress on your knees.” I live with it though and get by. Everyone around wants me to rest all the time instead of living every moment for fear of me being in pain.. The image is a symbol of creating beauty from something that just honestly sucks, and making the most of something that should not be a big deal concidering other world problems. Like my first two image I shot these two straight on so that what you see if what you get. The background is just straight black to keep the images simple and free from distraction.

   My final images are meant to be a more clear cut depiction of two different sides of myself: The one when I am at home and the one I like to present myself as. I made these two black and white for the same reason I only used one small light to light the image: Drama. I love all things dramatic . I have never been one for subtlety and I wanted my images to reflect as much.